The one where Emily feels sorry for herself

Life has been more than a little crazy the last few months, and I won’t lie to you, in many ways I am really looking forward to being done with school in December. I’m excited to be out of school for the first time in my life, and I’m excited to get an actual job.

But sometimes I worry that all this was a very expensive mistake.

Don’t get me wrong, I love library science and this year has given me so many great experiences that I would never call a mistake. But there aren’t a lot of jobs out there right now. Library school was supposed to help me get experience so I could get a job, but so far the only experience I’ve gotten has been classes and volunteer experience. When I applied to library school last year they told me that of course there would be plenty of graduate assistantships available. Well… we all know how this story goes. No graduate assistantship, no real library experience, and I’m back living in my parents’ basement.

I went to Illinois because it was supposed to be the “best” library school in the country, and as much as I would like to believe that, after this long in the program I really can’t. I’ve had professors who have texted in class during student presentations and online professors who have never even taken an online class, let alone taught ANY class, among other things. Graduate school has not been at all what I expected and I’m not sure if it really has prepared me to be a good librarian. I feel like there are huge gaps in my knowledge.

And yes, a lot of my dissatisfaction may be because I haven’t taken advantage of as many opportunities as I should have. By doing the program in a year and doing half of it through LEEP I’m sure I’m missing out on a lot of great things Illinois has to offer. However, I still can’t help but feel a little betrayed by GSLIS, ALA, and myself.

I have had a lot of great experiences through GSLIS that I don’t think I would have gotten anywhere else. All of my Special Collections classes have been amazing, and if even just for that I cannot regret my decision to do get my MLIS at the University of Illinois. I’ve met a lot of great people and I feel like my (almost) a year of library school has helped me to become a better person and help me become the sort of adult that I want to be. With any luck I’ll soon be blogging about my awesome library job, but I think until that awesome library job comes up I’m going to worry, and there will be days like today where I feel sorry for myself.

Sorry for the depressing post, folks. I promise that soon I’ll have some much less depressing posts about books, movies, pictures of my tunnel book, and food.

 

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One thought on “The one where Emily feels sorry for herself

  1. Hey Emily, If there’s one thing I’ve learned from grad school, it’s how much I DON’T know. So, feeling like you have knowledge gaps is normal to me, which was unexpected at first. For the library job, you might have to throw a wide net. Be open to opportunities and good things will come! Any library would be so extremely lucky to have you!!

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