I am the kind of person who needs a certain amount of time every week alone. It’s not that I don’t like other people–I love hanging out with friends and family! But if I’m really going to feel rested and happy I need those few hours to sit by myself. Lately I feel like I’ve been running around all of the time, between work and social events. Everything has been great, but I was starting to feel a little drained. Tonight I was sitting alone for the first time in a while, and it struck me just how much I enjoy my own company. There have been plenty of times in the last few years where I couldn’t stand to be trapped in my own head for more than a few minutes, but I’m past that now. I like myself. Being alone doesn’t necessarily mean that I have to distract myself with television, video games, or books. I can just sit, think, write and dream.
I am incredibly lucky.
So, this week was interesting. I started a new job and there were a few days when it was challenging to find the time and energy to write. I think it’s going to take a little bit of time for my to regain a good balance between writing, work, and other things I have to do. I did a pretty good job of sticking to it. I blogged, worked on short stories and…stalled out a little on my novel.
It is REALLY hard to get back into writing a book after a year and a half break. I feel like every time I get into the flow I start second guessing myself, or I get too afraid to go on. I start browsing the internet for something else to do. Or, like today, I come here to tell you all how much I’m struggling with this. I open up the document, start reading what I wrote last time and I freeze up.
I’ve been trying to spend at least twenty minutes a day working on my book. Lani and Alastair over at Story Wonk call it Novel Engage and I think it’s a great way to stay in touch with your story.
I know I can push past this. I’m determined to push past it. I WILL push past this!